Sunday Morning

The weekend is about half over. Nothing exciting has really happened. I managed to get a few things done yesterday that I wanted to get done. I got a battery for the cam corder. I got a few more mini-DV tapes. I managed to do some vacuuming. And I treated myself to a nice afternoon nap. Oh, the cardio workout went well. I think I just need to learn to breathe better so my body can get the O2 is needs to work more efficiently during the workouts.

Meanwhile, I guess I wonder about things. If I don't ask then I might never know and then lead myself to thinking of things that might not be. That said, I did ask for some clarification on something. The answer I got was not quite what I expected, but I don't think it's the end of the world. Life goes on. Things were not to the point where it should be a big deal. Anyway, not great news, but, hey, what can you do? If things were not suppose to that way at this point in time, then perhaps it's for a reason. Hm, I guess watching Serendipity last week has got me thinking about this whole fate and destiny thing. :-p

It's FRIDAY!

So we will start off today with the above cartoon. I found it rather amusing. :-D

Last night I went to cardio to make up for the workout I missed on Tuesday. Boy1 I really needed that. I'm a bit tired this morning, but I think that's mainly because silly me decided to stay up late chatting. Oh, this Internet thing will be the death of me some day. Or, maybe will be the source of all my sleep-deprived nights. Come to think of it, it would be sad if all my sleep deprived nights were due to the Internet. Think about that one, folks.

Tonight, I'm having a few friends over for movie and pizza. Nothing too big or over-organized. I'm saving that for an Oktoberfest type of gathering next month. One of the guys coming over has a John Cusack movie, "1408". I'm not usually a huge fan of horror, but this has got John Cusack in it. So maybe it will be funny and sophomoric in parts? :D Okay, maybe not.

I have cardio again tomorrow morning. The usual Saturday instructor won't be there but last night's instructor will be subbing for her. At least I have a taste for how she works. :) A few of the people who were there last night also take the Tuesday night class.

Sunday, I plan to co-hare the Hash. This weekend should be nice for getting out and about! :)

Self-Analysis

Once in a while when I feel like my mind has unmuddled itself, I get a glimpse of myself in a different light. To some extent, writing much of what goes on in my head and heart here is my way if figuring out how I work. I also get to see what some of my usual patterns of behavior are. Perhaps I am over-analyzing myself at time, but I think I would end up knowing more about myself.

I remember saying to myself and others that I always have a hard time describing myself. This may be due to the fact that I don't really observe myself as I would another person. The third-person viewpoint, if you will. However, using this medium, I see the blog as the "third-person" to some degree. I write down what I've done, how I feel and what I'm thinking. Afterwards, I read what I have written. Sometimes I realize that it's not the first time I behave in a certain way or felt in a certain way.

I was discussing with M the other day how we are all creatures of habit. Whether we want to admit it or not, I think this is for the majority true. No matter how unpredictable you think you might be, there is something about you that is done habitually. I suppose doing some things out of habit is out of comfort. For other things, it's only because that is what you are most familiar with.

Anyway, enough psychological musings at such an early hour of the day.

Is this really me?

Eva's personality type:

Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Careers that could fit Eva includes:

Actors, journalists, writers, musicians, painters, consultants, psychologists, psychiatrists, entrepreneurs, teachers, counselers, politicans, diplomats, television reporters, marketers, scientists, sales representatives, artists, clergy, public relations, social scientists, social workers.

http://www.41q.com/

Reflections at 5AM in the Morning

So I login to the site because some 52 year old sent me a message there yesterday. While I was there I find that he has signed on recently and changed his handle. *sigh* My heart sank for a moment. It's strange that I just watched Serendipity last night. I know it's just a movie, but sometimes you do wonder about fate and destiny. Was something meant to be or not. Maybe I did have some lingering doubts in the back of my mind. Perhaps I was starting to feel a little bit desperate to find somebody. However, in the end, if something just wasn't feeling quite right, or if there was something I was not ready to make a compromise for, well then...

In any case, at times like these, I'm glad I can rely on the wisdom of my friends to help unmuddle my oft-muddled head. I suppose there's not much to do but to go back to square one. Maybe I should just stay there. Or maybe I should consult the magic 8-ball? Ah yes! Put my life and future into the hands of a sphere filled with water and generic answers to all of life's questions. I think not.

Someone, I think, worded it rather well: "not knowing what you want makes it hard to know what to do." I think I need to know what I want. If I don't know what I want then I don't know what I'm looking for, am I? Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not a hopeless cause in these sort of things.

If I know me, I'll be pre-occupied with this whole episode until someone proverbially slaps me around and gets me to snap out of it. Meanwhile, I feel a little overwhelmed at times...

Wondering

Sometimes I wonder if I haven't been subconsciously been putting stress on myself for no real good reason. I'm pretty sure it happens. But how do you control it? I suppose meditation and the like is one way to deal with it. I don't know. I guess at times I go through a bit of self-doubt about things. Again, I think this goes back to thinking to much. Wondering too much about things I don't have any or absolute control over. As a friend commented, Just go with the flow. I guess it's easier said than done sometimes. I guess I'm just a tad neurotic. I know that the words I get from friends all make sense, but tell that to my psyche. At times it seems like a battle between logic and psyche.

Tonight, instead of going to my cardio class I ended up having a light supper and watched Serendipity. I had ripped it thinking that I might watch it later. However, I decided to watch the movie on the computer. But towards the end, the movie froze. I think one of the files was damaged. So I popped the DVD back in to try to finish watching the movie. It got a little further but then it crapped out again. Grrrr. So I took the DVD and went to the DVD player in the living room. I cued it to the chapter I wanted to finish watching. Well, whaddya know. The blood thing finished playing in the DVD player. I really wonder sometimes about these pieces of technology we use.


Anyway, I think I will go to sleep soon.

I don't know me sometimes...

For some reason by the end of today I just felt really drained. It seemed to require a bit more effort and concentration to drive home. When I did get home I felt quite tired. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or maybe I am deficient in certain vitamins. Perhaps I caught something at work. My office mate has been having this on again/off again cold/allergy thing for a while now. In any case, I think I will pass on tonight's cardio class. I emailed the director to see if I could take her class Thursday night instead.

I suppose I should just take it easy tonight. I don't think today has been an especially stressful day although a whole whack of emails arrived pretty much at the same time. I tried to take care of a few of them before I left work. I will have to follow-up on the rest tomorrow after I go pick up my passport.

Sometimes I just wish I knew better what was going on with me.

"Every guy...."

".. should have a clap track for something.." - Matthew Good during his Vancouver show.

I think this quote was just tooooooo funny to pass up! You can watch it here.

Meanwhile, while everyone has seen or are watching the season premiere of Heroes tonight, I discovered that I had forgotten that I had downloaded season 1. So, tonight, I managed to watch episode 1 and 2.

Good night.

Sometimes...

I think I need to have my head examined. Why, you might ask? I think at times I get a little neurotic and anxious over things. I think I tend to over-think and over-analyze things to the point where it just drives me a bit batty. Depending on the subject matter it could very well take a hit on the ol' self-esteem.

That said, let's re-cap this weekend's activities.

So Sunday morning, I finally got up at some point and made the usual trip to get some groceries. When I got home he had signed on. So we chatted for a bit before he had to leave to run a few errands before we met up at 2. I had a little bit of lunch before heading out. I got to the movie theatre at just a little before 2PM. I waited for a bit. I eventually took a seat somewhere not knowing how long he might be. I figure if he had to run over to the other side of town it might take him a little while to get over here. He showed up at about 2:15PM. He sincerely apologized his tardiness. He didn't think it would take so long. I jokingly said I would have given him until 2:20PM. So we got tickets and went in for the 2PM showing. I think we only missed the first few minutes. In any case, the movie was good. We both enjoyed it. Outside the cinema, I made a comment about musicals. He commented back something about Buffy. I knew what he was talking about and said that I missed seeing the singing episode. He mentioned that he liked the episode "Hush". I said that I did as well even though it was one very creepy episode. With regards to the singing episode, he said he has the soundtrack on his iPod. I said I would rather see the whole episode. He said he might be able to track down that episode.

Anyway, after the movie, we went for some ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. Then we walked over to a park and just sat for a while talking. It was a really nice day. We observed the odd behavior of a squirrel. We weren't sure what was up with it. Was it mentally deficient or ill? In any case, we agreed that nature will take its course. Anyway, I guess at some point it was time to head home. We got on the metro. The guy sitting in front of us started to behave rather oddly so we changed our seats. We continued to talk. Then we were at his stop and he had to get off. For some reason, I felt like, "Aww. You have to go now?" After that, I can't explain it but I kinda felt a bit bummed. I really don't know why.

This is where the over-thinking kicks in. I start to think about what he has said and done. Then I wonder about what I've said and done. At any one point was something said or done that could have flushed the whole thing? I dunno. This is what's driving me mad. And I *KNOW* that I have been over-thinking. Oftentimes this sort of behavior is difficult to stop. I know I need to get a grip and just let things happen as they may. In any case, it's one of those times when you just want to pound your head against something hard because you feel like a total idiot. Maybe I did say something stupid, or maybe not. I'm not exactly one to carefully choose my words. Oftentimes, I just blurt things out. Then realize afterwards, OY! What did I just say???

Agh! I guess I will just have to just take a deep breath and continue. I feel like such a n00b at times. %-p

Saturday Evening...

Well, I guess I am overdue for an update here of sorts. What has happened since Wednesday? Well, I went to my class. It looks like it will be interesting to learn Flash. It does look like it will be a challenge of sorts. I need to check out CS3 in the meantime.

After class, I met up with him. We walked over to Hurley's. I had a half-pint of Harp and he had a pint of Tartan. Then we talked. We talked about all sorts of stuff. I found him to be quite funny at times. He made me laugh very hard at some point. I don't even remember what it was about. In any case, I had a very nice time just talking and laughing with him. Before we knew it it was nearing midnight! We walked over to the metro station. The metro is pretty deep and there were 3 sets of escalators going down. We took our time taking them (i.e., we just stood there and let the escalator take us down). He got off a few stops before I had to. I think I got home around half past midnight. I finally got to bed around 1AM. The next day I was pretty wiped.

The next day we chatted for a bit. He said he had a nice time and all. I did as well. He said he had Friday off and was planning to run/hike around the mountain. He has a game Saturday night. I told him I wasn't sure if I was going to go to the Hash on Sunday. Other than that I had my cardio class this morning.

This morning, we caught each other online. We chatted a bit before he asked a question. I thought it was rather interesting him not sure where I stood with regards to how I felt about him. I reciprocated the same sentiment back at him. I then asked if he wanted to go do something Sunday. Now we have a date to catch a movie tomorrow. :)

Meanwhile, I emailed Dale M. about video-recording the Montreal show. He pretty much gave us his blessing to record on his behalf. Yay! I think the others were pretty happy to hear this. I dug out my camcorder and checked it out. It's still practically new. The battery just needed to be recharged. I wonder if I should get a spare battery just in case. Maybe an extra mini-DV tape as well. This should be awesome. :)

Telemarketers...

.. the scourge of the Earth!

Midweek Ponderings

Well, maybe I don't have a whole lot to ponder. Uhm... But then again, maybe I do.

I start my "Intro to Flash" course tonight. I figure I should get myself into a classroom environment and learn something useful. I really don't know just how useful, but you never know. My current job does not have an immediate need for Flash. However, this does not mean that I can't build up my skills and such. Who knows, perhaps somewhere down the line there will be a need for some Flash!

My O'Reilly on-line course is somewhat stalled. It's mostly my fault as I have been allowing myself to get distracted by things and not focusing on completing the courses. Shame on me!

Last night's cardio workout was pretty good. This time I decided to wear my Polar heart-rate monitor to see how I'm doing. I think at some point the HR peaked at about 171!! Otherwise, it seemed to be averaging around 165-167. I wasn't totally sure if that was too high or not. This morning, I checked on the Polar website and it gave you 3 different zones depending on what the goal is. The range that I was working in last night puts me in the "Improve Athletic Ability" zone. I guess that's still ok. It's considered 80+% of the maximum heart rate. I think I would much rather be in the "Improve Aerobic Ability" zone. In any case, I would just need to pace myself. If I'm feeling good then I'll work harder to keep up with the group.

Well, it seems that I will be meeting up with someone after my class tonight. So far it looks good. However, being the cynical type that I am, I seem to have some self-doubts as to how this will go. Baaah! I'll just try to go with the flow!

Chuckle

Ahhh! Nice to start off a Monday with a little chuckle.

The weekend wasn't too bad. As mentioned, I subjected myself to more cardio workout on Saturday. Yesterday was the 600th Hash out in Hudson. It was fun. It was a very long trail, but I think it was worth it. No one noticed I wore relatively new runners, but that's okay. I think the trail helped me to break them in a little bit. ;-)

There was much fun and frivolity at the Hash, being that it was the 600th run. There was beer, sausages and other foodstuff. There was also a neat cake!

There was also a lot of strange head gear being worn.

But in the end, we all had a good time.

This for YOU, Shawn!!! ;-)

Oh! The Pain!

I went to my cardio class this morning. Even though this was just my second class, I could feel a few things loosening up. At the same time, I could also feel a few things have stiffened up as well! Needless to say, there were times when the front of my thighs were screaming, "No! No more! Stop that!". The good news about today's workout is that I did not find myself slowing down as much as the first class. I'm still sort of uncoordinated with some of the moves, but it's improving.

My arms are another story altogether. The first class we did some bicep and tricep curls. I didn't realize just how much effort was put into it until I woke up this morning. Perhaps it's because my left arm is the weaker arm that it felt the after-effects of that workout more than the right. Strangely enough, when we did the exercises today, they didn't really hurt too much.

I had the foresight to bring a banana with me to eat after the class was over. For breakfast I had a yogurt and a trail mix bar. That seemed sufficient for the morning's activities. After the class, I went over to MEC to have a look at their stuff. I didn't want to stop home first because I figure I would not leave once I got home.

At MEC, I picked up a Black Diamond headlamp, a short-sleeved shirt, a long-sleeved shirt, a bunch of Clif bars, and a waist-pack with bottle holder. The headlamp is for Tuesday's evening class. Sometimes the trails are a bit dark. It wasn't a terribly expensive one, but it does the job. Oh, I also bought a new tail light for the bike. The other one wasn't properly secured and fell off on the way home at some point. :-/

In other news, I haven't heard from a particular fellow since Wednesday. I'm wondering if I should drop him a quick note saying hi or something. *sigh* Technically, it's suppose to be his turn to write back. I hate dealing with these little nuances that are all part of the so-called mating rituals... :p

Post #461

Yes. Apparently I have made that many posts. It's probably not as many as other blogs, but I guess for me it's an awful lot of babbling.

It is the end of yet another work week. It's time to unwind and take advantage of the weekend to pursue other things. I don't think I have anything overly ambitious to take o n this weekend other than to attend my 2nd cardio class tomorrow morning. To some degree I am looking forward to it. I know I will be in some pain or agony. Not sure what shape the participants of this group will be in. I know that one woman who was in the Tuesday evening class will be there.

After the class, I'll probably head home for a quick shower before heading over to MEC for a few things. Maybe check out their packs. I was thinking of getting a pack for the trip in November. I would like to get a waist pack with water bottle holder. Maybe look at some pants for the workout. Cooler fall weather is on the way in. Also, maybe check out some shirts.

In the meantime, something else that has been happening that I have been hesitant to post here because I tend to be superstitious to some degree. Basically, I'm afraid of jinxing things. Since last Saturday, I had been corresponding with a fellow from one of the sites that has on occasion frustrated me to no end. I forget how many messages were exchanged last Saturday but I believe no less than 6 were sent by each of us. The flurry of activity continued on Sunday but on a slightly smaller scale because each of us has some sort of activity to attend to in the afternoon. Then with the beginning of the workweek, the messages were down to one each a day. Now it seems to come to a bit of a pause. His last message indicated that he seems to be unexpectedly very busy this week and Saturday. He said he can't guarantee he can make it to the Hash on Sunday. Mind you that I don't think I directly invited him to the Hash but alluded to the idea that maybe he could go if he had the chance. In any case, I didn't push the matter much. I left it as open as his "Not that I'm saying no.."

Maybe I'll do some baking tomorrow afternoon as well. I need to do something with the apples I got last weekend.

Hump Diddly Hump Day

So I really can't come up with anything more clever than that. :p Bite me.

I am really tired. Last night's cardio class was a real workout. I don't think I've exerted myself like that in a very long time. Despite some of the pain, it felt satisfying that I survived my first class. I was the only new person in the group who showed up last night. We were suppose to be about 17 people, but only 8 of us showed up on a drizzly Tuesday evening.

The cardio part was quite a challenge. It started off okay. Gradually, it became more challenging because we're maintaining a certain pace. After that, some muscle toning moves using the elastics for resistance were done. Some exercises for the abs were done as well. Then to finish it all off, we did some stretches and tai-chi-esque moves. All in all, it was pretty good. It was tough trying to keep up with everyone who's been doing this for a year or more. I hope Saturday will be a bit easier as there are suppose to be more new participants. Yay!

I think I will sleep now. My muscles are starting to ache now...

Mild Obsession.. Really!

So, my friend J sent me this link. Hehehe! It was a good read and analysis of his movies. Thanks, J!:)

Now, I don't think I will ever stalk the guy. I think I'm sane enought o not do such a thing. Besides, I'd rather use my free time for other pursuits (yeah, yeah, yeah, let your imagination run wild there. Sheesh!).

Meanwhile, I am trying to eat a bit more healthy this week. I've been kind of bad about what I've been putting in my mouth the past couple of weeks. On Sunday, I think I downed about 4 hot dogs! :p Ick! So yesterday, I packed a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch, but I ended up getting a small package of sushi in the caf and had half the sandwich. The other half is still in the fridge. For dinner, I marinated 2 chicken breasts with some spicy sauce and broiled them. I had one with rice and a salad. The other one is today's lunch. :) Tonight, before I head out to my cardio workout, I guess I'll just have some yogurt. Yeah, I've been gaining then losing approx 5 pounds. :p I just want to try to lose it and keep it lost!

It's just another manic Monday...

Wish it were Sunday....

Sing it to me, Bangles chick whose name I can't remember.

Anyway, today's xkcd I could relate to to some degree.

So according to that formula, I should be able to date someone who is 26.5 yrs or older. This might explain why occasionally I get propositioned by guys who are about 27 or 28. Still, even that seems a bit young. But then, by that same formula, a 64 year old could try and ask me for a date!! O_o *SHUDDER*

Ow.. my head hurts now...

It's Saturday.. Screw the week number

It was starting to get boring...

Anyway, I thought this was amusing in an ironic way.

That said, I wonder what, if anything, will come of my love life, which is sorely lacking. That's not to say I'm desperate or anything. I just wonder if I will ever meet that special someone. I suppose I do have a criteria of sorts, but it's not absolute or written in stone. It's got room for exemptions.

So, today I went out to Hudson. It was a bit humid this morning but as the day progressed, the strong breeze brought in drier air. The temp started to cool off somewhat. The sun kept things warm though.

Tomorrow, I think I will go hashing.

Week 36, Thursday

Alright, I think I managed to survive the whole food blessing incident on Monday. I haven't been converted or recruited into some New Age/spiritual stuff involving hallucinogenic supplements, natural/organic foods and copious amounts of pizza. Nope, I don't think that's the life for me.

Anyway, I was perusing the paper this morning when I came to the entertainment section and the gossip column in there. It seems that Halle Berry is 3 months pregnant. The father is some 32 year old hunk. He's NINE YEARS her JUNIOR!! How do celebrities get away with this? How can us dull normals keep up with this trend? There's Demi and her boy toy. Now Halle and whatever-his-name-is. Okay, I don't quite have Halle's physique, but then again, if I had the bucks and the time for a personal trainer, maybe I could. I have a full-time job to juggle, ya know!

Aside from that, not much else is happening really. Get up, go to work, come home, repeat. Last night, I did go to the Stitch & Bitch. We made these hats to be worn at the 600th Hash. I will have to remember to bring my camera to the Hash. :)

Happy Labor Day

Okay.. so after seeing my folks of early this morning, I went straight back to bed and slept until about 9. Yeah, I really took it easy this morning. After finally getting up and showering, I found the courage to call this guy to see if he was up for some coffee. We chatted for maybe a half hour before settling on a time and place. We agreed on 3:30PM. So between then and when I had to leave, I managed to get a load of laundry done and make a quick bite to eat. Then I headed off.

So I met up with him at the designated spot. Hmm, not exactly quite what I expected, but let's see where this goes. We walked a bit before finding a place for a coffee. I ordered an iced cafe latte, he a black coffee. We sat down and before he drank his coffee he "blessed" it. He blessed as in to enhance the flavor and "life force" in it. Now this did cock an internal eyebrow with me, but being the sort of person that I am, I kinda went "okay...". He asked if it freaked me out. I said no, but that it was different. Honestly, it takes quite a bit to freak me out. However, even if something didn't freak me out it doesn't mean that it might not bother me somehow.

After we chatted for a while at the coffee place, we went for a bit of a walk and chatted some more. He said he felt a little hungry and thought that some ice cream would be nice. We found one place but the line up was long. I said I remembered that there was or should be another ice cream over yonder. We find an ice cream place and got some ice cream. When we sat down to eat, again he blessed his ice cream. Hrmmm...

Well, by the time we finished it was time to head back. He still needed to swing by this natural food store before it closed. He also needed to take care of feeding his cat too. I guess it's just as well, because I don't know what I would have done if he took the metro all the way up. I parked at work, but anyway...

Uhm... I don't really think this guy is for me honestly.. Nothing against people exploring spirituality and stuff, but that's not something that floats my boat if I were to date someone. That's one things that for sure I'd have issues with on that level. Anyway... back to the drawing board.

I think I scared off a guy once...

... with this reply to a message he sent:

I totally understand what you mean about the pressure. When you put pressure on yourself, you end up not being who you really are which is not fair for either party.

I find that I tend to be a sort of "go with the flow" and "let's see what happens next" type of person. It could be because I am in no hurry. I'm not trying to find somebody for the sake of finding someone. I'm not out to find someone because my biological clock is telling me to. I'm content to take my time in finding the right person.

As for whether there's chemistry or clicking between two people, how can you really tell in 5 minutes if it's going to work or not? Perhaps the other person is nervous or is at a loss for words? The formula may not work for everyone. For instance, I know that I tend to be quiet at first when I meet someone (anyone for that matter) until I know the person a bit more and then would I open myself up more. At least, that's how I operate.

Perhaps it's the cynic in me, but I wonder sometimes just how we know if we're truly compatible or not with another person. I don't think it's an exact science. When it comes to matters of the heart, I don't think it's something that can easily be quantified.

There will always be risks to take in life, both major and minor. Life would be rather boring if one were able to take full control of it. ;-)

Week 35, Saturday

We went for dim sum. We walked around downtown and the "Underground City". The sidewalks did not cave in. We bought some sirloin steaks and grilled them on the BBQ.

Mom and Dad like the Sumo beanbag. BS woke me up at 5 this morning.

I sent a text message to the guy just a little while ago. I don't know if he will get it, when he will get it, or if he will reply to it.